The other night at the movies, I saw a preview for a film coming out called The Wolfman. Actor Benicio Del Toro visits his family home after the violent death of his brother, and soon after, he himself is attacked by a wolf-like creature. When the moon is full, he transforms into a hairy, snarling beast.
I don't even need a full moon. It was like watching myself evolving in the mirror. Hair in undesirable places. Knee-jerk anger over much of what I see, hear, read, and experience. Gnashing my teeth and being generally disagreeable about Fred's suggestions and comments.
I wasn't always like this, was I?? (For sure I wasn't growing a mustache.) But it's this personality transplant that bothers me the most. I've always been relatively cheerful and easygoing, not instantly riled up about everything. I feel like the real me has been snatched away and replaced by Miss Trunchbull from Matilda.
Besides the surliness, I offer other fine qualities. I'm forgetful, indecisive, unorganized, and feel extra gloomy when the sun doesn't shine. Small things seem overwhelming, and big things I'd rather think about next year. Our wedding vows didn't say "In sickness and in health, through PMS and menopause." With that loophole, Fred might go over to the cabin and never come back!
I guess I'd better do some more research and figure out how we can survive this time of my life--which could last for several more years yet. SLAM!! (That was Fred running out the door.)
And if you see a furry creature baying at the moon on Halloween night, stop and say hi. It might be me.
Showing posts with label menopause. Show all posts
Showing posts with label menopause. Show all posts
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Ch-ch-changes
**This post is not for the squeamish or cowardly--only those who can handle the truth.**
When we females are 9 or so, our mothers have "The talk" with us about the changes that will soon be happening in our bodies. I think another talk from Mom should be mandatory as we approach 50 and our bodies again start throwing us curveballs.
Right now I have a lot in common with a 14-year-old boy. My face is breaking out. While he can't wait to show off the downy new mustache on his upper lip, what the heck am I supposed to do with mine?? I'm also getting a unibrow as hair starts filling in between my eyes, my eyebrows becoming bushy and wiry like Great-Grandpa Schroeder's used to be. I think my voice is a little lower, too.
When you're talking to a woman in her 40s or 50s, pay close attention. If she laughs, sneezes, or coughs, then gets a stricken look on her face, it means "I just peed a little." Our bladders are betraying us; "Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now!" is not just an advertising slogan.
These are just a couple of the indignities I'm currently experiencing. According to Project Aware at www.projectaware.org, hundreds of women have put together a list of 35 "common symptoms that occur during perimenopause and menopause." Our husbands should read this and be afraid--be very afraid.
1. Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling
2. Irregular heartbeat
3. Irritability
4. Mood swings, sudden tears
5. Trouble sleeping through the night
6. Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods; heavier periods, flooding; phantom periods, shorter or longer cycles
7. Loss of libido
8. Dry vagina
9. Crashing fatigue
10. Anxiety, feeling ill at ease
11. Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom
12. Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion
13. Disturbing memory lapses
14. Incontinence, especially upon sneezing or laughing
15. Itchy crawly skin
16. Aching, sore joints, muscles, and tendons
17. Increased tension in muscles
18. Breast tenderness
19. Headache change; increase or decrease
20. Gastrointestinal distress
21. Sudden bouts of bloat
22. Depression
23. Exacerbation of exisiting conditions
24. Increase in allergies
25. Weight gain, often around the waist and thighs, resulting in the "disappearing waistline"
26. Hair loss or thinning; increase in facial hair
27. Dizziness, lightheadedness, loss of balance
28. Changes in body odor
29. Electric shock sensation under the skin or in the head
30. Tingling in the extremities
31. Gum problems, increased bleeding
32. Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor
33. Osteoporosis after several years
34. Changes in fingernails
35. Tinnitus: ringing in ears, bells, whooshing, buzzing
Sounds like fun, huh? Ironically, some women go through menopause with nary a symptom, while I'm up to 15 and counting. I'll spare you any more gory details and go shave.
When we females are 9 or so, our mothers have "The talk" with us about the changes that will soon be happening in our bodies. I think another talk from Mom should be mandatory as we approach 50 and our bodies again start throwing us curveballs.
Right now I have a lot in common with a 14-year-old boy. My face is breaking out. While he can't wait to show off the downy new mustache on his upper lip, what the heck am I supposed to do with mine?? I'm also getting a unibrow as hair starts filling in between my eyes, my eyebrows becoming bushy and wiry like Great-Grandpa Schroeder's used to be. I think my voice is a little lower, too.
When you're talking to a woman in her 40s or 50s, pay close attention. If she laughs, sneezes, or coughs, then gets a stricken look on her face, it means "I just peed a little." Our bladders are betraying us; "Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now!" is not just an advertising slogan.
These are just a couple of the indignities I'm currently experiencing. According to Project Aware at www.projectaware.org, hundreds of women have put together a list of 35 "common symptoms that occur during perimenopause and menopause." Our husbands should read this and be afraid--be very afraid.
1. Hot flashes, flushes, night sweats and/or cold flashes, clammy feeling
2. Irregular heartbeat
3. Irritability
4. Mood swings, sudden tears
5. Trouble sleeping through the night
6. Irregular periods; shorter, lighter periods; heavier periods, flooding; phantom periods, shorter or longer cycles
7. Loss of libido
8. Dry vagina
9. Crashing fatigue
10. Anxiety, feeling ill at ease
11. Feelings of dread, apprehension, doom
12. Difficulty concentrating, disorientation, mental confusion
13. Disturbing memory lapses
14. Incontinence, especially upon sneezing or laughing
15. Itchy crawly skin
16. Aching, sore joints, muscles, and tendons
17. Increased tension in muscles
18. Breast tenderness
19. Headache change; increase or decrease
20. Gastrointestinal distress
21. Sudden bouts of bloat
22. Depression
23. Exacerbation of exisiting conditions
24. Increase in allergies
25. Weight gain, often around the waist and thighs, resulting in the "disappearing waistline"
26. Hair loss or thinning; increase in facial hair
27. Dizziness, lightheadedness, loss of balance
28. Changes in body odor
29. Electric shock sensation under the skin or in the head
30. Tingling in the extremities
31. Gum problems, increased bleeding
32. Burning tongue, burning roof of mouth, bad taste in mouth, change in breath odor
33. Osteoporosis after several years
34. Changes in fingernails
35. Tinnitus: ringing in ears, bells, whooshing, buzzing
Sounds like fun, huh? Ironically, some women go through menopause with nary a symptom, while I'm up to 15 and counting. I'll spare you any more gory details and go shave.
Monday, March 23, 2009
Under the Hormonal Weather
"Rainy days and Mondays always get me down."--the Carpenters Can you imagine what a rainy Monday does to me??! Actually, it's not raining now, but it's so dark and gray that it may as well be. I've noticed that my emotions are increasingly affected by the weather these days. And by songs on the radio...Hallmark commercials....and burnt toast. Sometimes I feel like I'm a different person. Ask Fred, he can tell you. For him it's probably like living with a different person.
Are hormones really this powerful? Is this what the next 5+ years will be like as I begin the great adventure called menopause? Should I just go live in a tent in the back yard until it's over? I remember Archie Bunker on All in the Family telling his wife Edith, "Just change, dammit!" I wish it were that fast and easy!
Last year I read a book called The Female Brain. Its basic premise is that a woman's life is controlled by her hormones from birth through menopause. I could relate to much of what the author described, feeling relieved that I wasn't the "only one." According to her, during menopause women become more about "me." Instead of going along agreeably with the wishes of everyone else as we've done for the past 20 or so years--what movie to see, which restaurant to go to, etc.--we now want to do what we want to do, and we aren't afraid to say so! This is the most obvious change I've noticed in myself. I don't have the patience or desire to censor my responses or defer to someone else's wishes. But that is not "me"!! I hope those who know me best would agree with that! I've always tried to put family and friends first and be agreeable, compromising, compliant...but I sure don't feel that way now. As I told Fred: "This is the new me--get used to it!"
I look back over the years and think of women I've known--family, co-workers, friends--who suddenly morphed into super-bitches when they were in their 40s and 50s. Now I get it. I forgive them all. I hope my nearest and dearest will forgive me, too.
Are hormones really this powerful? Is this what the next 5+ years will be like as I begin the great adventure called menopause? Should I just go live in a tent in the back yard until it's over? I remember Archie Bunker on All in the Family telling his wife Edith, "Just change, dammit!" I wish it were that fast and easy!
Last year I read a book called The Female Brain. Its basic premise is that a woman's life is controlled by her hormones from birth through menopause. I could relate to much of what the author described, feeling relieved that I wasn't the "only one." According to her, during menopause women become more about "me." Instead of going along agreeably with the wishes of everyone else as we've done for the past 20 or so years--what movie to see, which restaurant to go to, etc.--we now want to do what we want to do, and we aren't afraid to say so! This is the most obvious change I've noticed in myself. I don't have the patience or desire to censor my responses or defer to someone else's wishes. But that is not "me"!! I hope those who know me best would agree with that! I've always tried to put family and friends first and be agreeable, compromising, compliant...but I sure don't feel that way now. As I told Fred: "This is the new me--get used to it!"
I look back over the years and think of women I've known--family, co-workers, friends--who suddenly morphed into super-bitches when they were in their 40s and 50s. Now I get it. I forgive them all. I hope my nearest and dearest will forgive me, too.
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