You Can Go Home Again

Going back to the Elk Mound house makes me sad. The rooms are empty, and voices echo with no furniture or people to absorb them. (Yes, I talk out loud to myself!) The rooms are still bright and sunny, and everywhere I look I see memories of twelve happy years there, along with about a million Asian beetle carcasses!!
I stand in the dining room--my favorite spot-- and look out at the back yard, missing the birds that I fed all those years. I'd sit at the table writing one of hundreds of letters to family, friends, and soldiers, able to see the birds and the Boys in back, and Kimo and Kaya through the living room window in the front. The driveway we got stuck in numerous times, where I backed Katie's car into a tree. and the girls shot baskets. The deck that Fred built, so shady and breezy in the summer with its beautiful view down the valley, where we fed and tamed generation after generation of stray cats. The apple tree that gave us so much wonderful applesauce and desserts...the spot under the birdfeeder where the bear lay last summer...the hillside where two litters of puppies romped, and Erica played the tuba, assuming that everyone living on the hill wanted to listen.
I see the place in the hallway where the girls' homecoming, prom, graduation, and other "special occasion" pictures were taken--empty now. Even though we had the carpets cleaned, the spot is still visible in the family room where Erica dumped a plate of lasagna. I can visualize Squirt's aquarium in the corner of her room, the place where he noislessly earned the title of Least Troublesome Andrist Pet. Katie's room is actually clean now, with its lavender walls that she helped paint and the shower curtain drapes--but no "Kato's Room-Stay Out!" sign on the door anymore.
The huge basement is full of memories, even though we didn't use it as a living space. Katie put on a "concert" down there once, giving each of us handwritten invitations. We turned it into a spook-house one Halloween, and the girls spent many hot summer nights sleeping on the fold-out couch that Dan and Trina left there. Fred built me my "shelf-room" where I kept my holiday decorations, my Country Treasures stash, and hid the Christmas presents and Easter baskets. The back room housed the Harley through the winters...Kaya gave birth to seven puppies in one corner, and Kimo died there last spring.
When I leave, I drive down the road that we walked hundreds of times, with and without the dogs. I see the spot where our sunflower mailbox used to sit....and I head back to Rhinelander, which is home now. Back to Fred, the cats and dogs, the sunflower mailbox, the familiar things that made the Elk Mound house home, and now make our home on Silver Lake Road. I know that "home" isn't a structure, it's where the people and things that you love reside.

"There's no place like home." -- Dorothy Gale

Brushing is Not Enough!

"Do you floss regularly?" asks the dental hygienist. "Yes!" we all lie sincerely. It may seem innocent enough, but not flossing can have a serious impact on your health.
People who floss regularly have less chance of developing periodontal (gum) disease. This alone is reason enough to floss--who wants to have nasty-looking gums and teeth falling out? But an even better reason is that recent studies show a correlation between gum disease and the development of cardiovascular diseases. Lesions on the gums provide openings for germs to enter the bloodstream. The bacteria that cause periodontitis can cause the plaque in the arteries to thicken, leading to heart attacks and strokes.
I know, I'm Debbie Downer, but since we already have a history of heart attacks in the family, it's important to take every preventive measure we can. Make an appointment for a a dental check-up NOW, and floss daily!! I want you smiling pretty for a long time to come!!

My Mother is My Hero

My mother, Mary P., married my dad in 1958 when she was 18. Starting with me in 1959, she had 5 children in 5 years. Lori, baby #4, died at birth from spina bifida. The next year Billy was born, also with spina bifida and paralyzed from the waist down. Mother was 24 years old, four children, one with major health concerns--how did she do it??
Billy required numerous hospitalizations and surgeries, attention beyond the usual. Mother worked off and on over the years, and my dad often worked more than one job--so the bulk of the child care fell upon her even when she was employed. But I never felt like I was getting the short end of the deal. I remember getting off the school bus and coming into the house to a piece of her apple crisp, warm from the oven. We had birthday parties and sleepovers and all the usual kid things. I know now that those things didn't just "happen" by themselves. She made them happen, despite probably being exhausted much of the time.
She lost my dad when she was 46 and my brother eight years later. Somehow she went on from those tragedies and was still the mother I'd always known--loving, giving, there when we needed her. My life has been so easy compared to hers, and I just hope I've inherited her strength. The only thing that makes her seem old to me now is that she has an almost-50-year-old kid!!
She gave me a picture of herself taken when she was 19 and pregnant with me. I love that picture--her hair is vivid red, and she looks innocent and open to what life has in store. When I look at her now, I see that the years have changed her appearance, but her green eyes--just like mine--are the same. Wiser, but with the expectant look that more is yet to come.

A Poem for E & K

I bet you never thought your mom
Would be in print on blogger.com.

But here I am, with 20+ years
of stories, lessons, laughs, and tears.

All that came from being your mother,
A learning experience like no other.

I'll try my best to stay in the present,
Avoid touchy subjects and topics unpleasant.

(Though embarrassing our kids, as you know well,
Is something at which Dad and I excel!!)

So visit here daily to read what I say;
Take what you want and the rest throw away.

And always remember, wherever you go,
That being your mom is the best job I know.


"No matter what road I travel, I'm going home." -- Shinso

Love you!! Mom

A Mother's Heart Feb. 24, 2009

I have discovered that the agonies and ecstasies of growing up myself were a piece of cake compared to watching my daughters navigate the same bumps in the road. I read somewhere that once you have a child, it's like walking around with your heart outside your body, and that describes it exactly for me. Their hurts are our hurts, but it's worse because we have no control over fixing them. I have to keep reminding myself that just as I dealt with the issues of my college days,(if I drink too much at the disco and dance with a stranger, am I a floozy?) my daughters are both capable and smart and able to deal with theirs, too. Maybe it's the constant means of communicating with our kids these days that makes us so much more involved with their lives and problems: cell phones, text messages, instant messages, Facebook, e-mails....I had to write my parents real letters with a stamp, or call them once a week and tell them what I was up to (usually heavily censored!) Thirty years later, MY mother is just discovering that I partied a lot at UW -Eau Claire, while all I have to do is go on Facebook and see what my daughters are up to--with pictures or even video accompaniment!!
So, I will continue to be here to listen and try not to provide the solutions (like I even know them!) Sometimes experience is the only way to grow, even if it hurts.

"Figuring out who you are is the whole point of the human experience." -- Anna Quindlen