When Leftovers Multiply

Fred was home alone over the weekend when I was in Milwaukee with my bowling team, so he had to fend for himself at mealtime. I had made beef stew and biscuits, there was leftover pork chops and rice, stuff for sandwiches, and a German chocolate cake for his birthday. I knew he wouldn't starve.
When I got back Sunday he said, "We really need to clean out that refrigerator." Hmm, I thought. I shouldn't have left him home by himself. "There really isn't much in there," I replied. "You're hardly ever home for supper, and I always send you any leftovers for lunch." Him: "I'm talking about condiments and lunchmeat."
Oh. He is right about that. There are currently three open bottles of ketchup in there and 5--yes five--bottles of mustard! This is because we had several big events at the cabin over the summer, and when other people bring these condiments for the potlucks, they somehow end up coming home with US. Three of the mustards are spicy brown, and I don't ever buy that flavor. I rest my case! As for lunchmeat, I sent two pounds of it to use for lunches the weekend before last when Fred and two friends went sailing on Lake Superior. It's not my fault they didn't eat it all.
Just to do a quick inventory, we have 5 varieties of salad dressing, taco sauce, 2 BBQ sauce, tartar sauce, steak sauce, pickle relish, shrimp sauce, Miracle Whip, and soy sauce in there. There's only one jar of jelly, and that's because I used up two of them yesterday. There are two containers of parmesan cheese, but one is from Katie's fridge in Elk Mound. I inherited all of her open condiments when she went back to school 4 weeks ago. There are 12 cartons of yogurt with varying expiration dates--the oldest being Feb. 19, '09. Unless yogurt is moldy, I will eat it. That bacteria is good for your digestive tract, right?! We have 3 opened containers of Promise spread; Russ the cat jumped up on the unattended table after breakfast one morning when we had company and took a lick from one of them. I opened a new tub to use for the guests, but saved the other one for us to finish. The cat barely touched it, so I've just been using it on Fred's sandwiches. :)
One drawer is full of grapefruit that I bought in April, and the other has some hairy carrots and brown lettuce. Really, though, this is nothing compared to the fridge of years past when the girls still lived at home. Katie would make macaroni and cheese, then refrigerate the leftovers. Since she doesn't like it reheated--"Mom, it's too dry!"--we often had four or five containers of it turning various shades of green. Erica would make a vegetarian concoction that no one else wanted to eat, then forget that the extra was in there behind all that mac and cheese. It really is possible to find something in Tupperware that isn't identifiable unless you work on "C.S.I."
So yes, Dear, I will have the refrigerator cleaned out before the weekend. And since I bowl tonight, I'll leave a container of Fridge Surprise for your supper. Bon appetit!!