Colonoscopy, Number Two

I just read Dave Barry's 2008 column about his first colonoscopy. I had read it before, but today it is more timely for me. I figured that laughing out loud about it would be better than dreading it. Today is "prep day." I already screwed up the process by forgetting to drink 8 oz. of water at 9 and 10 AM--I was out walking the dogs then. At 11:00 I mixed up a tasty 8 oz. glass of "LO-SO Prep." It's a supposedly low sodium combination of magnesium carbonate, citric acid, and potassium citrate. After it stopped fizzing, it looked like a glass of milk. That's not what it tasted like though. Actually, it was the smell that gagged me--like salt mixed with something burning. I tried holding my nose to drink it, but discovered then I couldn't breathe. So I took a deep breath and chugged it down, Katie watching and encouraging "Go, Mom!" I burped a couple times and prayed I wouldn't throw it all up. A few deep breaths later, it seemed to be settling ok--and here I am. It's supposed to produce results in 30 minutes to 6 hours. I can have all the clear liquids, jello, and broth that I want today. At 1:00 I have to take 4 horse-size pills, and early tomorrow morning use a torpedo-shaped suppository. Katie didn't know what that was, so I explained and said "I hope you can get it in there far enough." The horrified look on her face was priceless.
If you are hesitant about having a colonoscopy, just suck it up and get past the embarrassment. Everybody has a colon, and doctors get paid big bucks to do these distasteful things! And lucky me will get $50 from our insurance company to have it done--money I can use for my soldiers. So read Dave Barry's column; I posted it on Facebook, or just Google "Dave Barry colonoscopy" and it will take you right to it at the Miami Herald. No one should die of a preventable cancer because the screening process for it is disgusting. There are a lot worse--oops, gotta go!