Fabulous Fifty

As the big 5-0 inches closer daily, I started wondering what celebrities are also reaching that milestone in 2009. And the question that followed was, do I look older or younger than most of them?! Unlike many of them, I don't have a personal trainer, chef, or make-up artist (well actually I do, and they're all me) to keep me looking good all the time. Here are some famous people celebrating--or dreading--the half century mark with me.
January: NASCAR driver Mark Martin. (No wonder Viagra is one of his sponsors!!) Bangles singer Susanna Hoffs, who looks like she's about 30. Linda Blair--looking better than she did when she was in The Exorcist! MSNBC's Keith Olbermann and actor Anthony Lapaglia--both of whom I thought were older than me.
February: John McEnroe, who is almost totally gray now. Throwing all those tantrums in his 20s has come back to haunt him! Actor Kyle MacLachlan, formerly of Twin Peaks and more recently Desperate Housewives.
March: Tom Arnold, Roseanne's ex-husband. Irish actor Aidan Quinn--still quite a hunk. NBC's Lester Holt and Chris Hansen, the "Catch a Predator" guy. Kato Kaelin, O.J. Simpson's former houseguest. I wonder if he's gotten a job yet? Actor Matthew Modine and actress Catherine Keener, as well as that romance novel cover guy, Fabio.
April: David Hyde Pierce from Frasier; Sheena Easton, Emma Thompson, and Clint Howard, Ron's younger brother. He actually looks older than Ron does.
May: Country singer Randy Travis, who I thought was going on 60. NBC anchor Brian Williams, actor Ving Rhames and actress Mare Winningham.
June: Former governor Eliot Spitzer, who aged 10 years during his public apology to his family and New Yorkers. House star Hugh Laurie, country singer Lorrie Morgan, and actor Vincent D'Onofrio from Law and Order:Criminal Intent. I think he's sexy!
July: Bon Jovi guitarist Ritchie Sambora. He must think that keeping his hair long makes him look younger.
August: Actresses Rosanna Arquette, Marcia Gay Hardin, and Laura Innes, from E.R.; Magic Johnson, and country singer Colin Raye.
September: actor Dave Coulier who played Uncle Joey on Full House; skater Tai Babilonia, and Seinfeld actor Jason Alexander--who has looked 50 for the past 20 years!
October: Simon Cowell, TV host Nancy Grace, Marie Osmond, TV chef Emeril Lagasse, Sarah Ferguson, and West Wing actor Bradley Whitford. (He's too old for you, Molly!!)
November: actress Allison Janney and Obama Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel.
December: actress Patricia Clarkson, comediennes Paula Poundstone and Tracy Ullman, and actor Val Kilmer. Recently his face has gotten puffy and he looks like a beaver or woodchuck.
With the exception of a couple porn actresses who were also on the website I consulted, all of the women turning 50 appeared to have boobs that aren't younger than they are. A few faces may have had some work done, but if it makes them feel better then I say go for it. I will be reaching 50 with all my original equipment except my gall bladder--and a few parts now lower than they used to be.
Happy birthday to the babies of 1959, famous or not!