The "news" seems more frivolous every day, more like the gossip that tabloids parlay.
Ridiculous stories that don't really matter on TV and radio, internet chatter.
Jon and Kate Gosselin soon may be splitting; this is big news? You've got to be kidding!
Kate was caught spanking one daughter's behind. How come no one cared when I used to spank mine?!
Interrupt programming, call up the press! The First Lady walked Bo wearing shorts, not a dress!
Some guy dressed in drag to collect his mom's pension; Cher's daughter's becoming a man, did I mention?
President Obama just swatted a fly, but PETA reacted like he'd killed a guy.
Palin made Letterman sound like Godzilla; why won't she just take her butt back to Wasilla?!
Favre might be going to join Minnesota, but I don't give a damn! Not one single iota!!
The real news is violent, sad, and depressing--that nut in Korea with more missile testing.
Economy's busted and two wars ongoing; gas prices rising, the deficit growing.
Maybe the "pseudo-news" keeps us from cracking--provides a distraction when humor is lacking.
Even the local news adds to this function: "Ed Gein, the Musical, soon starts production."
The county Republicans' picnic's a bummer; their big guest of "honor" is-tada!- Joe the Plumber!
So hang in there, friends, things are bound to improve; but if you can't stand it, just turn off the news.
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