BFF

Last week I found out that my best friend since we were 5 years old is moving to China this summer for her husband's job. I'm still in shock--over the news, and her bravery at taking on this huge adventure on the brink of our 50th birthdays.
Mary and I met in kindergarten and quickly became best pals. Throughout elementary school we played together, attended birthday parties, and became bad clarinet players. We took swimming lessons, neither of us learning much, but looking hot in our rubber swim caps. She lived in town and I was a country girl, so we rode our bikes to get together and became members of each other's families.
During high school we belonged to the same organizatons, took the same classes, had behind-the-wheel driver's ed together, and double-dated. We were freshman extras in "Penelope, Pride of the Pickle Factory"; made up a cha-cha routine for our phy ed dance test, wrote notes in class , and talked for hours on the phone. We were on the local High Quiz Bowl TV show, and Mary was so intimidated by the cameras that she didn't say a word. (Sorry, Mare, it still makes me laugh!!) She was valedictorian, I was salutatorian, and we went to colleges only 30 miles apart. We visited often during those years, seeing each other through the disco era. During summer vacations, we worked together at a factory that always made school look like a welcome alternative again in August. We hit a deer (she was driving) and got a flat tire (I was driving.)
Mary lost her dad in high school and her mom in college, losses that we grieved together. Right after college graduation, Mary married Bill and they soon moved to Knoxville, TN for her job. We still saw each other fairly often, mainly because of their trips back to Wisconsin. We were pregnant together in 1989, she with her first of 3 daughters and me with my second. I talked to her on the phone the night before her C-section with breech baby Erin, having been through one myself with Erica. She had Emily in 1993, and in 2000, she and Bill navigated the red tape of adopting Elly from China.
In 2005, Mary surprised me by using Bill's frequent flyer business miles to bring me down to Knoxville so we could celebrate our September birthdays together. No matter how many years had passed or how much distance there was between our homes, we still laughed like we'd been together the whole time.
A year ago, Mary had successful breast cancer surgery. It was the time I most wished we lived within hugging distance. I tried to be her cheerleader with letters, packages, and phone calls, and her healthy recovery was the answer to many prayers.
She reads my blog, and and an entry I posted last month about writing letters immediately guilted her into sending me one! It wasn't my intent, but whatever works!!
And now she's moving to China, for at least three years. Even though we've lived far apart for a long time and relied largely on written and phone communication, it will still be different knowing she's on the other side of the world. I have always admired her for her humor and positive attitude, and now she's amazing me with her willingness to pull up roots and take on a new culture "at our age".
Good luck with all of the challenges ahead, Pal! You may think you're a crummy pen pal, but I have saved a bunch of the numerous letters you've sent me over the years. Here's part of one:
"Thanks for being such a wonderful, lifetime friend and for staying in touch. Among the wishes that I have for my girls is that they'll have someone like you in their lives. Whenever I see the word 'friend,' your name enters my mind and I smile."
All I can say is "Ditto, Mare!" And how do you say "write soon" in Chinese?!